Steph's Debate Moderator Clothes

To moderate a great VP debate, I'd start with a smart black tweed skirt and pearls with a blazer that has a hint of color so I look great on TV. I would appear the unbiased professional, but I'd wear personal underoos emblazen with the democrat logo and a naughty punny phrase. Because I would be seated behind a moderator's desk, my shoes would go unseen by "my friends" at home, so I could go with function over form. That means, I'd need to wear tall boots to avoid stepping in the ca-ca the candidates would sprew, with steel toes in case I need to kick one in the behind. My dark sunglasses would mask my eye-rolls, my mega-phone would enable me to speak out if the candidates became unruly. I would also tote a large bag filled with ear muffs when I just can't take anymore empty promises and a ruler to slap the hands of liars. I would wear a stop-watch to give equal time and a whistle around my wrist to blow when time expired.

Oh, what's the bucket for...well, it's been said a Vice President is worth about as much as a bucket of warm spit. I'd like to have a prop sit on my desk as a subtle reminder of each candidate's perceived importance when their hubris takes them too far.

I expect the networks to call anyday to book me for the next VP debate.

Posted by Steph